Politeness Culture of the People of East Nusa Tengara
By: Marissa Ananias
The culture of politeness has long been an important part of Indonesian life, especially in regions such as East Nusa Tenggara, where respect and togetherness are still preserved from generation to generation. Since childhood, we have been taught that politeness is not only about words, but also about actions and attitudes of the heart that reflect respect for others. Through daily habits, these noble values continue to be passed down from generation to the next. The following are some examples of politeness that are still preserved in our community.
In my hometown, Maumere, East Nusa Tenggara, every time we meet someone on the street, especially an elder, we always greet them or smile. Even if we are not closely acquainted, a simple greeting such as "Good morning" or "Good afternoon" makes the atmosphere friendly. Those who are greeted usually respond kindly. This simple habit has become a part of Indonesian life, showing that friendliness is a universal language that unites hearts. Since childhood, we have also been taught to kiss the hands of parents, teachers, or elders when we meet them. This small act is not just a habit, but a form of respect and affection. Wen we kiss the teacher's hand at school, it feels as though we are offering respect while receiving blessings at the same time. In East Nusa Tenggara and Indonesia in general, this gesture has become a symbol of politeness that nurtures intergenerational closeness.
People greeting each other
Here, when visiting someone's house, we knock on the door and greet loudly so that the host knows. Only after being invited in do we sit and talk. This habit teaches respect for other's privacy and fosters carefulness when visiting.
Knocking on the Door and Greeting Before Entering Someone's Home
When guests come, the host in our region almost always prepare coffee or hot tea. Although simple, this act of serving drinks is a sign of hospitality and acceptance. Usually, while drinking, small conversations flow, making the atmosphere more pleasant. This culture shows how the Indonesian people uphold the values of family and respect guests as blessings that come to the home.
Guests and Hosts Enjoying Food and Conversation
Politeness in Indonesia is also reflected in the habit of helping others without being asked. Whether it is helping a neighbor carry something heavy, assisting with cooking during a celebration or wedding, or joining community clean-up activities people come to help spontaneously, without being asked and without expecting anything in return. Through such actions, a sense of care and mutual respect grows, reflecting a society that holds firmly to the value of cooperation.
Helping Each Other and Working Together (Gotong Royong)
Another habit taught from childhood is to say "thank you" after receiving help and "excuse me" when passing in front of someone or leaving a place. These simple words make human relationships warm and respectful. Wherever we are, such polite expressions mirror the good character and noble morals of the Indonesian people.
Saying "Excuse Me" and Bowing Slightly When Passing in Front of Someone.
We are also taught not to interrupt or raise our voices when elders are speaking. When an older person speaks, we remain silent and listen attentively. This form of politeness teaches patience and respect. In Indonesian society, listening is a sign that we value other's experiences and wisdom.
Listening to the Advice of the Elders
In our culture, when eating together, elders are always invited to eat first. Children and younger people wait patiently until the elders begin to eat. Moreover, we are taught not to leave the dining area before the elders have finished. After they finish eating the younger ones tidy up and organize what remains. This habit teaches respect, patience, and a sense of responsibility toward the family. Such simple values show that politeness is not only seen in speech but also in daily actions that reflect respect for elders.
Elders Are Always Invited to Eat First.